Should I do this, or not?

I would have to say that if you have been thinking about it for over a year then it isn't something you really want to do. I don't think you need to "get help" either, but I think you might need to get a hobby. I used to cut(a lot) and find in myself and the other cutters I know that for the most part it is a control issue. If you feel you don't have as much control as you would like then maybe something you do only on your own...like a hobby...would give you that control. You might think it is silly but it works for many people. Take up knitting(do people still do that? ) or maybe collecting something that is hard to find.